Modern Love

萨姆·格雷厄姆-费尔森从未想过自己会感到孤独。从童年到青年时期，他的生活始终围绕着朋友们展开。但结婚生子后，与朋友外出几乎成了一种奢侈。在多年将生活重心放在友谊之外的一切事物上之后，萨姆开始意识到自己缺失了某种至关重要的东西，于是他决定重新找回朋友们。 在本期《现代爱情》节目中，格雷厄姆-费尔森先生讲述了他如何从一个拥有深厚友谊的男孩，变成成年后感到孤独的自己，以及他为让友谊重回生活所采取的行动。 阅读他在《纽约时报杂志》上发表的文章《我那些深厚的男性友谊都去哪儿了？》。

After tremendous loss and heartbreak, Jim Morrison didn’t feel he had anything left to lose. Then he went for a walk. Next, a hike. Soon, he was running. He found challenging himself in nature helped him work through his grief, and before long he was seeking out increasingly difficult feats. In 2025 he became the first person to successfully climb up the North Face of Mount Everest and then ski down. A new documentary, “Everest: The Other Side,” chronicles Morrison’s journey to Everest and tells the story of his great loves and devastating tragedies. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Morrison talks about how he survived the darkest times in his life and how coming right up to the edge of what’s humanly possible keeps him close to the people he’s lost.

Janene Lin loathed the moment when the dinner bill would hit the table. When her date would pay, she felt like her love was for sale. Splitting the bill felt like no one had anything at stake. Most of the time, she would pay the bill herself, but that left her feeling uncared-for. So Janene prepared a pitch: On her next date, her third with a man named Aodhán, she would ask to open a joint bank account. On this episode of Modern Love, Lin tells our host, Anna Martin, why this risky move felt like the best solution, how Aodhán reacted and what it taught her about what money means to her and her family. This episode is adapted from Janene Lin’s essay The Woman Who Always Paid for Dinner.

One thing that comforted Denise Ryan after her divorce was that she and her ex-husband still talked every day. Even though they lived apart, they were still co-parenting their son, Alexander, and they were constantly jumping on the phone to tell each other what he was up to at their respective homes. The daily calls stopped, though, when Denise’s ex fell in love and started building a new family. Now Alexander had a second mother figure in his life, and he was adjusting remarkably well. Alexander seemed to enjoy the time he spent with his stepmom, and soon he became a big brother to her new baby. Denise sincerely wanted the best for her son and her ex, but it didn’t feel great to be on the outside peering in at their new life. Then, Denise got an unexpected call for help, giving her a chance to rethink the role she was playing. She realized that the end of a marriage didn’t have to mean the end of a family. The Modern Love essay that inspired this conversation is called “Please Love My Son as I Do.” https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/21/style/modern-love-please-love-my-son-as-i-do.html Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay: https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html

The actor Alan Cumming is not the man his father wanted him to be. Growing up, Cumming says, his father had specific ideas about how he should look and what he should do with his life, ideas he enforced with abusive violence. However, Cumming tried to stay true to himself: As a teenager, he hid clothes to change into after leaving the house, and he found joy in playing the piano and later at drama school. As an adult, Cumming tried to forget the past. But after getting married, settling into a home and beginning to consider fatherhood for himself, he started to reckon with his childhood, and realized he needed to start over. This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Cumming shares about what happened when he finally broke free of his father. He talks about how his past caught up to his love life, why publicly identifying as bisexual is important to him, and what he hopes to pass down to a new generation of queer artists. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay, and how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

在 Kelly McWilliams 人生的大部分时间里，她都觉得人们并没有清楚地看见她。Kelly 是混血儿，她从小被教育要为自身身份感到自豪：她在非裔美国人的文化和文学的包围中长大。但当她走进一个房间时，很多人会把她看作白人女性。而当她真的告诉别人她是黑人时，局面很快就会变得令人不适，甚至可怕。 在本期《Modern Love》节目中，McWilliams 向主持人 Anna Martin 讲述了她的混血身份如何影响了她的感情和工作。Kelly 的新书《American Nightmare》讲述了一个以白人身份生活的黑人男子，最终为 N.A.A.C.P. 做间谍的故事。 对于 Kelly 来说，间谍的想法——进入某些空间和情境而不让任何人知道你的真实身份——是非常个人化的。但她说，在多年被人误认为不是她本来的样子之后，她已经学会了大声说出自己到底是谁。

25岁时，喜剧演员 Taylor Tomlinson 确信自己已经弄清楚了生活和爱情。她已经抛下了一种让她觉得过于束缚的宗教信仰。她与一个她爱的男人订了婚。她还在写她的第一个 Netflix 特别节目。Tomlinson 觉得自己的事业和个人生活都在正轨上，没有什么能阻止她。然后，突然间，她取消了婚约，连她自己都感到惊讶。 现在32岁的 Tomlinson 希望自己当时能以不同的方式处理分手，但她并不后悔结束这段感情。她说，那个决定最终促使她寻求心理健康方面的帮助。最终，她出柜为双性恋，并开始探索自己对女性的吸引力，她曾以为自己永远不会有机会去实践这一点。 本周的《Modern Love》播客中，Tomlinson 谈到了她如何离开那个她自认为应该成为的人——以及她应该与之在一起的人——并学会了在了解自己内心的过程中保持耐心。即使这意味着一段长期的伴侣关系必须等待。 Taylor Tomlinson 的回忆录《Actually, Nevermind》现已出版。 如何提交 Modern Love 文章：https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html 如何提交 Tiny Love Story：https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html

乔·斯万伯格娶了他第一个认真约会的人。当那段婚姻结束时，他的感情生活变得复杂起来，甚至可以说是一团糟。他开始和更年轻的女性约会，陷入了一场复杂的三角恋，并且彻底改变了自己关于是否要再婚和生孩子的想法。他公开将其描述为一场老套的中年危机。 斯万伯格对混乱的感情关系并不陌生。在他的影视创作生涯中，他的作品一直聚焦于感情中的灰色地带以及那些难以处理的情感领域。因此，当他遭遇自己的感情困境时，他将这些经历融入了他的新电影《太阳永不落》。 本周的《现代爱情》播客中，斯万伯格讲述了启发这部电影的真实故事，他在清理自己感情烂摊子的过程中学到了什么，以及他对待感情关系的方式正在如何改变。

卡拉·拉利是著名的厨师和烹饪书作者。但在美食媒体界工作多年（例如在《美食与美酒》杂志任职）后，她开始失去与烹饪的个人联结。直到她长达24年的婚姻结束，她不得不作为一个新单身人士为自己做饭时，她才重新找回了热爱烹饪的原因以及什么能让她感觉良好。她在她的新回忆录兼烹饪书《食物是一种感觉》中详细描述了这些发现和食谱。 在本期《现代爱情》节目中，拉利向主持人安娜·马丁讲述了在她人生这个关键时期，帮助她重新与自己的愉悦和渴望建立联系的具体餐食和经历。她还谈到了烹饪作为一种工具的价值，能够用来转变糟糕的一天。

Blake Martin 正坐在车里等着取披萨，这时手机弹出了医生发来的通知。读着读着，他胃里一沉，思绪开始翻涌。这是他在24小时内收到的第二个改变人生的消息，而他整个关于未来的设想都被打上了问号。现在，他必须拿起披萨，回家告诉妻子。 本周的《Modern Love》播客中，Martin 讲述了他对家庭未来和自身健康认识的变化，以及他和妻子如何开始应对全新的现实。

Jess Zakira Wise 知道自己想尝试群体性行为，但随着她深入这个圈子，她很难找到一个让她感到舒适的性派对。她发现这些空间总是以男性为主导且符合异性恋规范，而这正是她试图逃离的。于是，Jess 开始组织自己的派对。 本周的《现代爱情》节目中，Wise 解释了是什么造就了一场精彩的性派对，以及为什么它往往更多地关乎沟通、好奇心和对自己欲望的尊重，而非其他。 以下是提交《现代爱情》文章的方法。 以下是提交微爱情故事的方法。 立即在 nytimes.com/podcasts 或 Apple Podcasts 和 Spotify 上订阅。您也可以在此处通过您最喜欢的播客应用订阅。要获取更多播客和有声文章，请在 nytimes.com/app 下载《纽约时报》应用。 立即在 nytimes.com/podcasts 或 Apple Podcasts 和 Spotify 上订阅。您也可以在此处通过您最喜欢的播客应用订阅。要获取更多播客和有声文章，请在 nytimes.com/app 下载《纽约时报》应用。

科技作家兼播客主持人 Bridget Todd 确信自己永远不会对人工智能聊天机器人产生依恋。她怀疑这些公司背后的动机，当她看到有文章说人们喜欢自己的机器人时，她说她觉得这些人的处境既可悲又危险。此外，Bridget 的生活中并没有一个空洞需要填补。她有一个支持她的人类伴侣。她有朋友和关系紧密的家庭。 但随后 Bridget 的生活开始崩溃。在父母去世后，她被恐惧、悲伤和一种她毫无准备的孤立感所淹没。就在那时，她开始向人工智能倾诉那些她无法告诉生活中其他人的事情。它的回应填补了一个空白。在本期《现代爱情》节目中，Bridget 向主持人 Anna Martin 讲述了当人类与数字伴侣之间的界限变得模糊时发生了什么，以及她在那之后的生活是什么样的。 Bridget 的有声书《爱在第一次提示：人工智能与亲密关系的未来》现已出版。

Jenny Singer 以为自己得了肺真菌病。这可以解释她所经历的呼吸急促。医生的另一种解释是焦虑，这对她来说似乎完全不可能。但随着时间的推移，Jenny 发现自己越来越关注她的“呼吸问题”（她这样称呼），以至于几乎无法与任何人建立联系。 最终，Singer 意识到自己没有肺真菌病。她向自己承认自己感到焦虑，并得出结论：她不适合她所渴望的那种浪漫关系。然后，她遇到了一个她绝对不想与之建立浪漫关系的人，和他在一起感觉很好。突然间，她不再感到焦虑。这正是她所需要的。 本周的《现代爱情》播客中，Singer 解释了焦虑如何干扰了她的爱情生活，以及她需要做什么才能找到她一直想要的那种关系。

Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff 是一位多角恋专家。早在90年代初，她第一次听说多角恋关系时，几乎没人谈论这个话题。但Sheff对此产生了浓厚的兴趣，并在过去的30年里，一直研究在多角恋家庭中长大的孩子的生活。 在本期《Modern Love》节目中，Sheff向主持人Anna Martin讲述了她多年沉浸在多角恋社群中的个人及专业发现。此外，她还为那些试图弄清楚多角恋是否适合自己的人提供了建议。

Explore the trials and tribulations of love in these deeply personal essays. A collaboration of The New York Times and WBUR in Boston, Modern Love: The Podcast features the popular New York Times column, with readings by notable personalities and updates from the essayists themselves. Join host Meghna Chakrabarti (WBUR) and Modern Love editor Daniel Jones (NYT) -- and fall in love at first listen.